The More Things Change....

A few weeks ago I wrote a blog entitled "Too Much Love- Caribbean Men Cyar Take Tabanca" http://lerevedepapillon.blogspot.com/2009/08/too-much-love-wi-men-cyar-handle.html.

That blogged addressed the disturbing trend of men in the Caribbean, particularly in Trinidad  resorting to violence whenever thier relationships disintegrated. I am yet to turn 30, but it seems that as long as I have been a West Indian this has become the norm, a part of the West Indian culture. I feel forced to revisit this topic because of an incident that took place yesterday on Aripata Avenue in Trinidad. Shortly after 3 pm yesterday Anand Rampersad a former police officer shot himself in the head while speaking to his wife in a car outside a business place, where he was working as a security guard. No one knows what his wife told him, but clearly the discussion upset him enough to take his own life.

[Photo courtesy Newday newspapers 5.10.2009] Above a police Inspector interviews persons at the scene of the suicide.

The same day that this incident took place, the Express reported that Belmont police are investigating the apparent suicide of a 28-year-old security officer who was found hanging at his home around 11 a.m yesterday in Upper Albert Lane, Belmont. Police believe that Corey Gordon killed himself because of a relationship that had gone sour between himself and a woman.

It is testimony to the frequency of these incidents that the novelty of the story has already been lost in news circulation. It echoes past stories of other police officers commiting suicide after encountering domestic problems.

I am not a psychologist and I have not studied gender relations in the Caribbean. But I am a woman, a wife, a daughter and a sister. All the men in my life, both family and friends have all placed strong emphasis on the 'macho' complex. This is what defines masculinity in the Caribbean. It is what the media exports internationally as the essence of a Caribbean man. And while that has a definite appeal to 99.9% of the female population it puts enormous pressure on men here to be perpetually strong.

The first time I saw two men in my family hug was at a wedding held this year for my cousin. Its the opposite of western culture, which some people think promotes 'chi chi men' (gays). West Indian men need to find an outlet to safely express thier sensitive side and express thier problems. Perhaps some of that 'arm chair therapy' so popular in the US needs to be here. Although people here automatically associate any type of counselling with mental illness. Clearly there must be a shift in how we raise our men and how we define mansculinity. If we don't we would be only raising boys trapped in men's bodies unable to deal with problems as an adult.