Life's Lessons

The last few weeks have taught me a lot about friendship. I realised that I over estimated my friendship with some and underestimated my friendship with others. The former were a disappointment while the latter were a pleasant surprise. I am glad I learnt this lesson now.

Divali poster

The Library department at the office where I work did a poster on Divali for the public.

East Indian Food

They served these today as part of the Divali celebrations held at our work place.  Above is paratha also called buss-up-shot. Below is a picture of traditional East Indian sweets (khurma, ghoolab jamoon, bharfi).

The Slaves Among Us

It is ironic that centuries after the end of colonial slavery and indentureship, the descendents of slaves and indentured labourers now stand complicit in perpetuating the slavery of another race, namely the Chinese. Last night more than 70 Chinese labourers protested outside the Chinese Embassy, complaining about the non payment of wages for two months and squalid conditions at their work camp at Chatee Trace, Cunpia. They walked more than two miles in the hot sun before they were stopped by police at the Uriah Butler Highway. It is not the first time Chinese workers here have protested but last night was a turning point in that police in riot gear had to be called out.

All of us have turned a blind eye to the conditions born by these Chinese workers responsible for constructing our schools, hospitals and 90% of all the major infrastructural developements in this country during and after the oil boom. We have benefitted from their cheap labour, but at what price? Are we any better than the British  and other Europeans were centuries ago? Last night when I saw these Chinese men being forced back unto buses, holding pieces of paper in broken English asking to be returned to China, their expressions grim and sad, I felt ashamed to be a West Indian.

Every morning I pass scores of Chinese workers who I know are living in sheds and shacks annexed to their construction site. We see them working through the night, pushing wheel barrows while we sit in the comfort of our homes. We see them coming from the slums in Sea Lots as we drive into Port of Spain in our nice cars. We see them huddled and packed into vans and trucks, clutching little bags and pieces of bread, while being taken to work. No local would be ever allowed to work under such conditions. Three weeks ago a Chinese worker committed suicide, no one seemed to care. I think it only made news because work had to be temporarily halted at that site.

Since these Chinese arrived about three years ago, they have become the new underclass to be exploited by the government and local business class. They are deriled in social commentary and Chinee is now our version of Paki. Their actions last night carried as the headline for all the major papers this morning, has forced us to accept all that we already knew on this small island of Trinidad. It's sad. We accuse the Europeans and in modern times the Americans and Canadians of still exploiting this region but what about us?

I am heartened that most of the radio talk show hosts and persons calling in to stations this morning showed a ground swell of local support for the Chinese and their plight. Several persons have called on the government to take action since the Chinese Embassy has refused to intervene. No surprise since the workers I understand are employed with a company owned by the Chinese government. I would like to join the chorus of persons calling for action. We cannot become a developed country in 2020 on the exploitation of others otherwise we would be no better than the Europeans and the Americans were before they ended slavery.

More pics from Tobago

A cross section of the audience at Gulf City Mall, Lowlands, Tobago who turned out to see the Divali celebrations.

Weekend Trip To Tobago

At L'Anse Fourmi we had to drive around this calf. I think we were blocking it.

If you look closely you can see a giraffe hiding in the grass. (see picture below)

[copyright  All rights reserved- no distribution of pictures without the permission of the author]

Callaloo Soup with Dumplings and Pigtail

This is real creole food. I bought this recently at Pancho's located at Frederick Street. They make some very good soups.

Merry Christmas!

[Photo courtesy TriniView.com]

In Trinidad and Tobago we start thinking of Christmas at the end of Ramadan (the Muslim holy month). After Ramadan Divali (the Hindu festival of light), which occurs early in October, marks the official commencement of Christmas celebrations. As I write I can hear the endless bursting of bamboo outside from children, which is traditionally done in the lead up to Divali. In a few days people, mostly Hindu's will start to place the popular icicle lights up and around their houses. I am not sure what is the significance of the bursting of bamboo or the icicles to the worship of the Hindu goddess Lakshmi but it's something I've always grown up with. On Divali itself Hindus will light deya's all around their homes and the streets. It's a beautiful sight. Divali represents the victory of light over darkness.

Look at youtube images of persons bursting bamboo in Trinidad. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSlTfB3pVAM&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JdVHQxf02M

The More Things Change....

A few weeks ago I wrote a blog entitled "Too Much Love- Caribbean Men Cyar Take Tabanca" http://lerevedepapillon.blogspot.com/2009/08/too-much-love-wi-men-cyar-handle.html.

That blogged addressed the disturbing trend of men in the Caribbean, particularly in Trinidad  resorting to violence whenever thier relationships disintegrated. I am yet to turn 30, but it seems that as long as I have been a West Indian this has become the norm, a part of the West Indian culture. I feel forced to revisit this topic because of an incident that took place yesterday on Aripata Avenue in Trinidad. Shortly after 3 pm yesterday Anand Rampersad a former police officer shot himself in the head while speaking to his wife in a car outside a business place, where he was working as a security guard. No one knows what his wife told him, but clearly the discussion upset him enough to take his own life.

[Photo courtesy Newday newspapers 5.10.2009] Above a police Inspector interviews persons at the scene of the suicide.

The same day that this incident took place, the Express reported that Belmont police are investigating the apparent suicide of a 28-year-old security officer who was found hanging at his home around 11 a.m yesterday in Upper Albert Lane, Belmont. Police believe that Corey Gordon killed himself because of a relationship that had gone sour between himself and a woman.

It is testimony to the frequency of these incidents that the novelty of the story has already been lost in news circulation. It echoes past stories of other police officers commiting suicide after encountering domestic problems.

I am not a psychologist and I have not studied gender relations in the Caribbean. But I am a woman, a wife, a daughter and a sister. All the men in my life, both family and friends have all placed strong emphasis on the 'macho' complex. This is what defines masculinity in the Caribbean. It is what the media exports internationally as the essence of a Caribbean man. And while that has a definite appeal to 99.9% of the female population it puts enormous pressure on men here to be perpetually strong.

The first time I saw two men in my family hug was at a wedding held this year for my cousin. Its the opposite of western culture, which some people think promotes 'chi chi men' (gays). West Indian men need to find an outlet to safely express thier sensitive side and express thier problems. Perhaps some of that 'arm chair therapy' so popular in the US needs to be here. Although people here automatically associate any type of counselling with mental illness. Clearly there must be a shift in how we raise our men and how we define mansculinity. If we don't we would be only raising boys trapped in men's bodies unable to deal with problems as an adult.

A Sad Story- Help Kavita Singh

I came across this plea for assistance in the Tobago News and felt moved to post it on my blog. Kavita Singh a 24 year young woman has three months to live. She is in desparate need of money to do a bone marrow transplant in the United States. I know what her family is going through. Last year my sister, at the age of 25 one day suddenly collapsed at home. She was rushed to the General Hospital and in the days and weeks that followed we learnt from the medical tests that she required a mitral valve replacement for her heart.

We did not have the resources to raise the $1 million TT  required to do the surgery in the United States. The doctors gave my sister 6 months to live. It was a difficult time. For the first time I realised that a human life can be equated in dollar signs. Everyday she stayed alive was like a gift and now I am much closer to my sister. She is still alive today thanks to the government assistance we received. In February of this year she underwent free surgery at the Mt Hope Medical Sciences Complex. Last month she married her boyfriend of 7 years. Hers was a happy ending of sorts. But her situation is not isolated.

I pledge to support Kavita. I hope my contributions and those of others are not too late. Please support her cause if you can.

Read the full article here: http://www.thetobagonews.com/index.pl/article?id=24757009

YMCA Keep up the Good Work!

Photo: Coutesy YMCA website (see below)

The best stories never make the front pages. I read today that the local branch of the YMCA planned to take 20 disadvantage youths and teach them photography. Congratulations to the YMCA for trying to do something meaningful in the community and not just 'ole talking' like the politicians, pseudo Christians and those who get more mileage from crticising the work of others. http://www.trinidadexpress.com/index.pl/article_news?id=161538919

For further information about YMCA Trinidad and and Tobago check out: http://www.ymcatt.org/donors.html

Happy Eid ul Fitr

[Photo is courtesy Trinidad Newsday 20.9.2009]

The holy month of Ramadan this year coincided with my birthday. Hence the holy month had much significance for me. I decided that at the close of Ramadan that it was necessary for me to ponder about my life, what I had achieved thus far and what were my aspirations. It seemed fitting since the holy month is focused on the need for Muslims to purge themselves, to surrender all vices and become pure. It is the time for great introspection.

T&T FADING WORLD CUP DREAM

Photo courtesy CONCACAF (USA vs T&T)

http://www.trinidadexpress.com/index.pl/article_news?id=161529626

Well folks the Yankees whipped us at home 1 Nil. I am still coming to terms with it. It's our second loss to the Americans during this qualifying round. With two more games left to go to qualify it seems unlikely we may make it to South Africa. I am still optimistic though. I still carry hope in my heart.

Photo courtesy Soca Warriors official site: T&T Supporters celebrate victory over Sweden at Zen Night Club

GO SOCA WARRIORS GO

Tomorrow is the 2010 World Cup Qualifier between Trinidad and Tobago and the USA. We have to beat the United States in a big way if we are to have any chance of qualifying. I went into mourning when Honduras whipped us 4-1 on Saturday. I am not sure how well I would handle a defeat to the United States. The Americans will be playing in Trinidad so we have the home team advantage. I heard an announcer asking the team to give the Yankess a good 'cut tail'. I say oh yeah! Guys go out and do your best and WIN. Go Soca Warriors GO!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BC1mSOY1hmI&feature=related

Members of the Fire Service being inspected.

Independence Day Parade

Women Power! LEFT:Members of the Fire Service’s band strike up “Fire, Fire.” RIGHT: Armed female soldiers march past the saluting base.

(Note Disclaimer:I take no credit for the above pictures, which are courtesy the local press.)

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY

On the 31st August 2009, Trinidad and Tobago celebrated 47 years of Independence from Britain. We have come a long way and we continue to develop. The capital, Port of Spain is changing gradually so too are other forms of infrastructure. I travelled last week on one of the new city service buses to get to my office near the Queen's Park Savannah. I was really impressed at the comfort and efficiency (but let's hope we can still get that new rapid rail train promised in the last election!)

In 2020 we hope to join the list of First World Nations. I wonder whether I will live to see that day.

The Capital

This a picture of the capital, Port-of-Spain.

What Recession?

Let's be real with ourselves folks, the average Trinidadian is not poor. He does not know what 'poverty' truly means. I say this because there has been a lot of debate lately about 'belt tightening' and 'untightening' courtesy the Honourable Prime Minister. Everybody who can speak English has an opinion about Trinidad and Tobago's economy. The Central Bank Governor says we are not in a recession http://guardian.co.tt/news/general/2009/08/12/central-bank-governor-recession-no-cause-panic. I agree.

I came to this conclusion on Tuesday, while I was at my hairdresser's. I learnt there that a popular mass band, Tribe had sold out its costumes for carnival 2010 in less than 7 minutes after allowing persons to shop online. A typical carnival costume costs about 600US or more. But there are other indicators of wealth. In the last few years American food chains like TGIF and Ruby Tuesdays are now likened to KFC. They are no longer considered 'posh' places. They are well patronised by everyone, from the entry level public servant to business executives (I confess I am a regular). This morning on my way to work I noticed a few Land Rovers, and Mercedes. Some years ago, those vehicles would have drawn stares- not anymore! When the global recession that originated in the United States started last year, I expected us to go into free fall here. But I am still waiting. Prices are still high, businesses are still doing well, people party and travel. It is business as usual albeit there have been lay offs in the construction industry.

For me I remain cautious, I still remember my parents talking about the effects of the last oil boom in Trinidad, which burst in the 1980's. Most of us were too young to appreciate the financial hardship that resulted. I fear we will repeat the same mistakes.

When Beauty becomes Ugly

Yesterday I went to Excellent City Centre to purchase a meal in the food court. There were two girls, both very good looking immediately ahead of me. They ordered fried chicken and chips. Because the counter area containing the cash register also doubled as the food dressing area, I waited while these two young ladies squirted ketchup and all the other sauces they wanted unto meal. Well that turned out to be one of the longest waits I ever had to cash a meal. These girls took their time adding sauces. Have you ever seen someone take two minutes to squirt ketchup from a bottle? Or debate aloud whether they should add garlic sauce before leisurely picking up the bottle, looking at it then replacing it on the counter, only to choose mustard instead?

People sighed and grumbled and these beautiful girls still did not get the hint. It's testimony to the easy going nature of Trinidadians, that even on hungry stomachs no one verbally abused these girls. Or physically threatened them. Perhaps their good looks saved them, who knows? Even the cashier started to watch them 'cut eye', but these girls seemed oblivious. Maybe they thought the rest of us in the line were on holiday. I was mad enough to make a comment but then bit my tongue. People like that are not worth it. I cannot undo what their own parents probably taught them-lack of manners.

So I like the ten or so other customers waited for these girls to complete dressing their meals to their satisfaction, and when they left, its strange but I found myself finding them less beautiful and more ugly...go figure.

A VISIT TO THE OBEAH MAN

Yesterday, I discovered that my cache of about twenty new pens and an entire box of pencils were stolen. The theft might have occurred the day before or earlier, since it was the first time in days that I required any stationary from that particular drawer. I was upset and after speaking to my colleagues I realised that this was not new. Most people suspected the security and janitors. In fact both had been a problem at my last place of employment, until that company's contract was terminated.

So, faced with the tedious prospect of constantly having to secure all my items at work, I thought of the easiest solution- obeah (witchcraft). For the record I have never practised it, but as a West Indian, I acknowledge its existence. I believe in its effect. I know that just the threat of it makes people uneasy. A sprinkling of salt on my desk, some incense here and there, and a black cloth tied discreetly on my chair- would all be equally effective warnings to the would be thief.

In the end, I wrote a note in red ink which said 'Tonight the candle burns, you have seven days to bring everything back." Almost as soon as I wrote the words however, I tore it up and tossed it in my bin. I was only kidding, but just mimicking the actions of a real obeah man made me uncomfortable, because there was a chance I might invite evil forces into my life, into my space. And when they come they never really go away. Only evil can come from evil I believe and nothing good. So up until the time of this post my office continues to remain both obeah free and free of stationary. I think I will take my chances with the stationary department, as I make my second application for stationary in two weeks, rather than on a trip to the obeah man.

GOD AND THE GAYS....

The above heading came from an article in the Express Woman newspaper dated August 9th 2009 by Cedriann J Martin

http://www.trinidadexpress.com/index.pl/article_woman_mag?id=161514669.

I felt it necessary to comment on it following my last entry.

I admit I have very conservative views on the question of gay rights, although I am in the legal profession and a champion for human rights. But that is my personal view and I try to keep that separate from my professional dealings.The article however, fascinated me because it brought to my attention the possible new role of the church in condoning homosexuality.

The movement to have gays accepted into mainstream religion makes me uneasy. I can already hear the mighty roar of liberals and gay rights activists outside my room calling for my head. But that is how I feel. I also know that civil rights activists would call me a hypocrite because I as a black West Indian benefited from the lobbying power of similar movements to ban racism and other injustices committed against my race. Nevertheless I maintain my position.

I wonder whether these Churches that push for inclusion of this kind know that to stand for everything means to stand for nothing. Eventually even the peadophiles will get their own pew, then the murderers, then the rapists, and the list goes on.... There will be no sphere of life considered 'wrong'. All that we do will be 'right' - we will all be one big happy family. I empathise with homosexuals (note I don't include bisexuals here) but I think they should be comfortable with the choices they made, without needing to intrude into the beliefs of others to find peace of mind for thier way of life.

From the Pulpit

"The way we view the world can limit our horizons or expand them to eternity. ....When we limit our world to what we have experienced we limit our knowledge of the vastness of God's grace."

Those words were spoken today, by a Priest who filled in on short notice for the resident Priest of my Parish of St. Marys. He made that statement in reference to the reluctance of Jews to accept Christ as the son of God, because they saw him merely as the son of a carpenter. To them Jesus was 'one of them'. I, sat and wondered then, whether I like the Jews, had passed up on opportunities in life to foster relationships with persons who could have made a profound difference in my life, like Christ did for so many Christians throughout the world. Je ne sais pas et je trouve la pensée inquiétante.

The problem is that we base most of our assessments of people on stereotypes, although I strive to do this in moderation. Since I am often the victim of this, most often when I travel. I once met some elderly women at an airport somewhere in Wisconsin, who approached me to give me several coins. I, a bit insulted said, 'I do not need the money.' My traveling companion, the same age as myself, took the money and laughed when the women left. These women really thought we were poor although to my mind we were not shabbily dressed. The irony was that my traveling companion, came from a wealthy family in Trinidad and lived in one of the most expensive real estate districts in Port-of-Spain, our capital. Well we spent the money on Mac Donald's, Snickers and soda. But the point is the money was wasted on us, instead of the rightful beneficiaries- the needy. Simply because of these women's limited view point of another race.

I am glad that for the most part, this year, I kept an open mind in my interactions with persons. I have met some amazing people. My re-emergence into the world wide body of Christianity, was due in large part to my willingness to heed the counsel of others, that I could just have easily ignored. But there are others with similar messages that I discounted, based on no more than superficial considerations, and so the 'what if' questions looms. I hope that it is not too late for me. The world still has beautiful people and it is just a matter of keeping my eyes open to the goodness that they bring.

WHY GAYS ARE SO SAD...

I travelled yesterday morning from the Savannah to downtown Port-of-Spain. The sun was hot. So, I dressed in an all black skirt suit and heels did not discriminate and chose the first car that stopped for me. It was not a registered taxi, but a PH ‘pulling bull’, what we locals call a private car running for hire. When I entered the car the only other passenger, who sat in front, and the driver were discussing women. I sat back and listened to the exchange. We West Indians love to ‘ole talk’. And I’ve learnt more about life while travelling in taxis and maxis than I ever could from my high school biology teacher.

The driver, a young man in gorgeous Rastafarian locks and a jersey, declared his preference for West Indian women over foreigners. The other passenger in a long sleeved shirt with a briefcase propped on his lap concurred but with less strong conviction. The driver grinned at me through his rear view mirror to draw me in to the debate. I returned his smile, content to hear them.

The basis for the driver’s indictment against foreign women was the prevalence of technology aboard. ‘Abroad’ for the average West Indian means America, unless stated otherwise. He said, ‘Dem women away does shave down dey nose, dey belly, it have technology dey does use to change dey entire appearance.’ This bothered him because that same ‘technology’ he knew for a fact was used on ‘batty man’ (homosexuals). The discussion plunged into the ‘abomination’ caused by western technology’s ability to change a man into a woman and vice versa-‘zombies’. He quoted scripture and called for their annihilation. He wanted ‘blow them away’. I laughed although I knew he was serious. Homophobia is accepted in the West Indies. It’s worse in Jamaica where entire mobs have beaten persons to death.

But it also made me think. What is wrong with being gay, or a transvestite? Yes, there is scripture to support one’s abhorrence of it if you are Christian, but what about Atheists? Is it that we think it threatens society by limiting our ability to procreate the race or that we just find the mechanics of the lifestyle too repugnant. I say yes, but the above rational opposing gays, parallels other historic forms of discrimination against Africans and Jews. The church’s view and prevailing social tastes at the time were used as catalysts to promote racism. I think the issue requires consideration. Let the debate begin.

TOO MUCH LOVE- CARIBBEAN MEN CYAR TAKE TABANCA

ta·ban·ca [ tə bángkə ] noun :Caribbean brokenhearted: a painful feeling of unrequited love

Yesterday, shortly after 1 pm Police Corporal Sean James entered the doctor's office where his common law wife, Dorna Noel worked and killed her with a gunshot to her head before turning the gun on himself. He was 41, she was 42. I learnt from the news reports that he lived four streets away from me, in what Americans would call the suburbs, a typical middle class neighbourhood. For a few hours the story dominated the local news before being submerged by other events - like the power struggle in the opposition UNC and the attempted murder of a Bristish couple vacationing in Tobago.

Sean James joins the long line of Trinidadian men who reinforce the belief that Caribbean men cannot cope with 'tabanca'. West Indian men handle break ups badly. We often joke about this, but it is a serious issue. Last year, at the Royal Castle Outlet in Curepe mere metres away from where James and Noel died, Ricardo Jason Duncan, 32, a precepted security officer killed his ex-girlfriend of several years, Adwoa Nefertiti Grant, 25, then himself. In March 2008 a popular Bar-B-Que vendor, Himragh Sookhai 48, of Cunupia who accused his wife of being unfaithful, gave his four-year-old son Lanate, an agricultural insecticide to drink and then took a dose himself.

The irony of course is that West Indian men's penchant for infidelity is notorious. So much so that it is normal to ask a man after seeing him with a woman, if that was his 'bona fide' (wife), or his 'deputy' (mistress). It has become part of our culture, something I as a West Indian woman accept. But when the tables are turned the same men find accepting adultery from their women unacceptable.

Cell Phones and Coconuts

I confess - I am unfaithful to the English language. J’adore le français. But today I return to my native tongue, because I want to speak of an experience, for which nothing but English will suffice. Two days ago I purchased a Nokia E63. It was the most expensive cell phone I have ever owned in my life. About half month’s salary for the average civil servant. When I swiped my debit card to make the purchase I swear I experienced a physical pain in my chest during the transfer. I held the phone and marveled at all the features. But what struck me most was how far cellular phones had penetrated and become part of Trinidad and Tobago’s social landscape.

In 1999 I saw my first cell phone. I still lived with my parents in Tobago (population approx. 45,000). I had just completed Sixth Form (equivalent of 12th grade) and worked at a locally owned bank to earn money for University. My boyfriend at the time, actually high school sweet heart, purchased a Sony Ericsson. I suspect it nearly bankrupted him. He was one of the few Tobagonians I knew who owned a cell phone at that time. It was like owning a car in the 1980’s. I held the Ericsson, which resembled a miniature walkie talkie, then in awe, much like I did now with my Nokia E63. Within 3 years cell phones were more affordable and accessible, although it remained a status symbol for the middle and upper classes. Flash forward to 2009, and even a primary school child on a small allowance can own one. Technology is coming here faster and faster. I can buy a coconut while jogging around the Savannah and get a phone card from the same vendor courtesy wireless technology. I can sue someone in Tobago and see them via video conference at the court in Trinidad. I saw my first hybrid car yesterday and I am sure more will follow. Some West Indians like the Bobo Shanti, a rastafarian sect, still resist technology. They shun ATM's and computers as marks of the beast.

To all those who decry the advent of technology I quote the lyrics to Bob Marley's famous 'Redemption Song': "... Have no fear for atomic energy, Cause none of them can stop the time....".

L'émancipation

Dimanche j'ai entendu sur la radio une question intéressante à propos de l'émancipation. Faites vous voulez libérer, mais sans respect ou un esclave qui est respecté? La citation, qui n'est pas exact, est venue du Tragedie de Coriolanus-un jeu de Skakespeare. J’ai pensé que je voudrais être un esclave parce que sans respect il n'y a toujours aucune liberté n’est-ce pas? Mais je ne sais pas. Cette question est très importante pour toute le monde, non seulement les Africains, les Indiens, les Blancs et cetera. Dans la vie nous devons choisir entre le respect et la liberté. Quand nous voulons respecter chacun nous abandonnons notre liberté. Je ne crois pas que ce soit mauvais parce que nous pouvons tous vivre avec la dignité.

Un rêve

Hier était le jour de l’émancipation. C’était un jour de la célébration pour les Africains. Mais pour moi c’était un jour quand j’ai pensé à la vie. Je n’étais pas heureux. Je n’étais pas très satisfaite de la vie. Pourquoi? Je crois que je n’ai pas la liberté parce que je dors tout le temps bien que je suis éveillé. Je suis dans la 'matrix' - je ne peux pas partir, il n'y a aucun comprimé rouge pour prendre. J’aime le fameux aphorisme du papillon de Zhuang Zi. Qui-suis je? Je voudrais savoir la vérité. J’espère que je connais la réponse par ce blog tous les jours. Peut-être je suis un papillon. Edgar Allan Poe a écrit - 'All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.'